Let’s imagine for a moment that price is irrelevant. How do you ensure that you always show up at the party in the most attention-grabbing SUV? Simple, you buy one of these exotic vehicles…
If you’re going to spend a fortune on a vehicle, you need it to count. Vehicles are expensive and if you’re not careful, you could end up with an insanely priced model that attracts no more attention than a sane and sensible compact SUV. For the most part, we can thank the Germans for this. Just about every model they offer can be specced to the hilt. By the time you’re done, you’ve just about doubled the price of the vehicle, yet anyone inspecting it from the outside would struggle to notice. The fact of the matter is, if you can buy a super-expensive SUV, you deserve the attention, adoration and jealousy that comes with this ability to afford nice things. Your neighbour should know that your car costs way more than his house. So today, we’re steering well clear of subtle but well-specced SUVs. Here are six vehicles that’ll instantly inform anyone who sees you that you’ve got a Gupta-sized bank account.
Red and Wide – 2017 Range Rover Sport Hse Dynamic
For those looking to put their wealth on display, a Range Rover is an almost automatic choice. Of course, this is a problem if you’re trying to stand out from the crowd… unless you’ve got something like this. This is a 2017 Range Rover Sport with a very dramatic Lumma wide-body kit. It makes a standard Sport look a bit tame. Whoever bought this beast initially must have been struck by a sudden and near-fatal case of buyer’s remorse. It’s a 2017 model, so most of the motor plan remains, and it’s only got 200km on the clock. It’s practically new. If you’re looking to make a statement, this is the 4×4 for you. It’s brash enough to make a footballer or rapper blush.
The good Very fast. People will stare at you.
The bad Expensive and thirsty
Price R2 399 995
Year 2017
Mileage 200km
Engine 5.0-Litre Supercharged Petrol
Transmission Eight-Speed Auto
Power 375kw
Torque 625nm
Top Speed 250km/H
Limited Edition – 2017 Mercedes-Benz Amg G63 463 Edition
Even in standard guise, a G-Class AMG G63 will turn quite a few heads. There’s a reason, after all, why so many celebs drive one. The 463 Edition, however, takes things to the next level. Apart from a bit more oomph (420kW instead of 400), it also has some cool stickers on its doors, a smattering of carbon fire and quilted leather seats. Another great addition is a set of bragworthy forged rims. Forged rims are popular on sportscars because they are the lightest wheels you can opt for. On the 2 500kg G63, they barely move the needle but they sure look awesome. The 463 Edition is pricey. A new one will set you back R3 million, but this one (with 1 000km on the clock) can be yours for R2 699 900.
The good Very fast. People will stare at you.
The bad Expensive and thirsty
Price R2 699 900
Year 2017
Mileage 1 000km
Engine 5.5-Litre V8 Bi-Turbo
Transmission Seven-Speed Auto
Power 420kw
Torque 760nm
Top Speed 210km/H
Big Bargain – 2007 Hummer H2
The Hummer H2 is such an absurd and outlandish vehicle that, despite being more than a decade old, its looks have held up remarkably well. When it comes to vehicle design, this level of crazy is apparently timeless. What this means for you as the consumer, is that you can enjoy Bentayga-levels of attention for the price of a mid-level SUV. This impossible-to-ignore Hummer H2 can be yours for the bargain price of R629 900. It has been converted to right-hand drive, and has only 65 000km on the clock. Sure, consumption will be heavy, but if you opt for this instead of an AMG or Bentley, you’ll have an awful lot of money left over for fuel. So, is this H2 a fantastic buy, then? Well, there is one small niggle. The Hummer brand is dead and the H2 was never officially sold here, so finding parts will be almost impossible. No problem. Just drive very carefully, then. Or park it permanently and simply use it as an Instagram prop.
The good Very big. Not so expensive. People will stare at you.
The bad Very thirsty. Brand is dead. No parts.
Price R629 900
Year 2007
Mileage 65 000km
Engine 6.2-Litre V8 Petrol
Transmission Six-Speed Auto
Power 293kw
Torque 574nm
Top Speed 201km/H
Luxury Diesel – 2017 Maserati Levante Diesel
Diesel SUVs are popular, sure, but when you reach the upper echelons of the segment, vehicles tend to be powered by stonking petrol powerplants. Here, however, is an exception. This is the Levante, a diesel-only Maserati. If you care only about speed, a Porsche Cayenne or BMW X6M probably makes more sense, but a Maserati badge brings with it a certain exclusivity. The Levante might not provide the speed and sonorous soundtrack you’d expect from a Maserati, but the styling is dramatic and eye-catching. Unlike a Cayenne or Beemer, a Levante is sure to be a rarer sight, adding to its uniqueness. Show up at your local country club in a Cayenne, and few people will notice. Show up in a Levante, though, and heads will turn. This particular example is expensive (R2 million), but it has loads of extras and only 500km on the clock. Instead of a Bentayga, you could buy two of these.
The good Pretty fast. Not so thirsty. People will stare at you.
The bad Expensive
Price R1 999 990
Year 2017
Mileage 500km
Engine 3.0-Litre Turbodiesel
Transmission Eight-Speed Auto
Power 202kw
Torque 570nm
Top Speed 230km/H
Big Brash Bakkie – 2016 Dodge Ram 1500 4×4
Here’s something for the bakkie fans. Volkswagen recently released its much-anticipated V6 Amarok, but even this impressive double cab doesn’t quite have the price or head-turning looks to get the super-rich excited. So, what do you do if you want to drive a bakkie, but you also want something that’ll make people sit up and pay attention? You buy a full-size American double cab. This is a 2016 Dodge Ram 1500. It’s big and bold, and it’ll make your mates’ bakkies look like Tonka toys. That ‘1500’ in its name has nothing to do with what’s powering this vehicle, it has a 5.7-litre V8 that develops 294kW of power, more than anything available on the local market. The mileage is 50 743km and it goes for R1 349 900. It has a performance exhaust and has been converted to right-hand drive. Compared to most of the vehicles on this list, it is a bargain.
The good Very big. People will stare at you.
The bad Very expensive (for a bakkie) and thirsty.
Price R1 349 900
Year 2016
Mileage 50 743km
Engine 5.7-Litre V8
Transmission Automatic
Power 294kw
Torque 555nm
Top Speed 170km/H
The Ultimate – 2016 Bentley Bentayga W12
Until Rolls-Royce officially releases its interpretation of an SUV, the Bentayga is probably the most dramatic and exclusive vehicle you can buy in the segment. Nothing can quite compare with the Bentayga. It is an absolute monster. It’s got a W12 6.0-litre petrol engine that develops 447kW of power and 900Nm of torque. Despite its size, the Bentayga is quick. Top speed is pegged at 300km/h, and it’ll shoot from 0–100km/h in 4.1 seconds. That’s less than a BMW X6M! Its most impressive feature, though, is its price. At just a hair below R5 million, the Bentley is expensive enough to make every other exclusive SUV out there look like an absolute bargain. If you own a Bentayga, you have the ultimate bragging rights.
The good Very, very fast. People will stare at you a lot.
The bad Very expensive and very thirsty.
Price R4 995 000
Year 2016
Mileage 5 800km
Engine 6.0-Litre W12
Transmission Eight-Speed Auto
Power 447kw
Torque 900nm
Top Speed 301km/H
Text: GG van Rooyen